Praise you through this storm

I am pretty sure in one of these rambling blog posts I have talked about how I continue to pat God on the shoulder and say "Thanks for that advice...but here's my plan."  I never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed and I am so grateful that God continues to love this hard headed sinner.  The old saying that we make our own beds and have to lay in them is so true, and boy is that painful sometimes.  But what I do know is that through the pain comes growth...through the pain comes a realization that He is in control and for that I will ALWAYS be thankful.  Even when this brings my shortcomings to the forefront like a beacon of light, and I have to face the proverbial music of my choices.  It hurts...it sucks (for lack of a better term)...but it is so necessary.  Fear is a huge factor that drives a lot of my decisions.  What will I be missing if I give this or that up...how could this or that possibly be right for me....the fear of the unknown is a real struggle.  Okay so I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but God didn't create a fool even when my actions may beg to differ.  I consciously make decisions for the flesh and not for the Father and this morning I poured over my devotional and bible and cried to my Father for forgiveness and a heart to turn away from choices that are completely of this world and not for His kingdom.  I heard some pretty blunt and forceful words on obedience from Him today.  I needed it...I needed those words that were not flowery or cushioned for this hard head.  He knows me...He knows exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it and I am so thankful....even when it hurts.  I will praise Him through this storm...because He deserves nothing less and even when it hurts the praise is all due to Him.  
My fears are of this world and have no place in God's kingdom work.  In Matthew 16:21-28 Jesus is telling His disciples of His impending torture and death.  Peter comes to Him and begins to rebuke Him claiming that he will not let this happen.  I feel you Peter...I would have been like..."I will cut somebody Lord!  They will NOT do those things to you!!"  But what Jesus says to Peter cuts me to the core.  He tells Peter to get behind Him because he is acting as a stumbling block to God's Holy work.  He tells Peter that his concerns are merely human concerns and not the concerns of God.  Let's just digest that...
Who has all the feelings for Peter...I have both hands raised right now.  How many times have we gotten on our righteous horse and claimed it for God's glory?  Yikes...like I can't even count those times on all my fingers and toes...
It's NOT OUR PLAN!  The plan is His alone and our place in that is obedience.  OBEDIENCE to listen for His calling...His game plan.  That's all because NEWSFLASH...He has already won the battle.  We get to live in a place of victory through Him everyday regardless of our present circumstances.  Now that doesn't mean it's all jump castles and pony rides...oh to the contrary.  We are not living in our perfect heaven yet...we live in a very flawed world...where flesh reigns and everyday is a struggle, but the freedom comes in the fact that this doesn't have to illicit fear and disobedience.  
So yeah...hard and deep...this was hard and deep, but so necessary.  It was necessary for me to pour these words on this screen for my own soul, but also because I hear God's calling to shine this amazing light for our world right now.  We live in very uncertain times.  Times that are filled with hatred and wickedness.   Every time we turn on the news or fire up our social media we are bombarded with this flesh soaked world...all the evil and wickedness we could ever handle.  Now more than ever we need to live in this space with God and walk in obedience with Him...not be the stumbling block our self righteous hearts long to be.  

Lord thank you so much for laying this truth and these words on my heart today.  Thank you for your lesson in obedience this morning.  It was hard and I cried, but in the end the renewal in my spirit and heart to live fully for you is beyond measure.  I love you Lord!