Seeing the other Rainbow

Well to say the last month and a half has been a roller coaster might be the understatement of the century.  So many changes...in the end ALL for the best...although in the midst of the storm it is really hard to see the rainbow.  There is hurt and confusion and questioning...questioning of what you thought you knew...who you thought you knew...what you thought the plan was and where you were supposed to be, but in the end He always knows best and goes before us...especially when the storm clouds are the thickest and He knows we have lost our way.  Over the last month and a half I have done a lot of self reflection and re-evaluation of my priorities.  The result has been more than I could have ever asked or imagined.  Things are still evolving and we are still working out this new normal, but we are so thankful and blessed.  I have people in my life who continue to stand beside me and encourage me even when the despair is so thick it's hard to breath.  They remind me of His mercy and love...and that He carries me through because I am His.  Romans 8:28 is my life verse and my loving merciful God continues to show me how true that verse is.
Driving home from a meeting in Columbia on Wednesday I got to see this amazing double rainbow.  I thought about how reflective that is of these times in my life.  The first rainbow is so bold and bright and it is the first thing my eyes go to, but there in the background is the second rainbow.  I get caught up on the first thing my eyes go to...the thing that makes the most sense...but there in the background may be something that doesn't stand out as much...isn't as bold and obvious...but holds so much of what He has planned.  I just have to refocus on what is just as much in front of my face as that big bold rainbow.  Landry told me yesterday that she thought it was so crazy that our eyes interpret color and their boldness.  Our eyes have control when mixed with light to make the colors appear the way they do.  It is all about focus...how is that any different than the choices we make in our lives?  Where we put our energy and focus is where we see the color.  The true test is being able to be still and listen to what He is telling you...where He is calling you.  That is what this last month and a half has been about.  He closed a huge door and opened doors to more than I could have asked or imagined.  Again and again He does that for this not really great at focusing or listening sinner girl.  I will be forever thankful for that grace.
I can officially now say that I have started my own business doing what I love to do and feel called to do...advocating, educating, and supporting Palliative and Hospice Education.  Palmetto Palliative Care Consultants, LLC has been a far off dream for a while now, and because doors were closed this door finally opened.   We cried and celebrated yesterday as this dream became official not only in our minds but legally as well.  The even more exciting part of all of this is because of the flexibility of operating this business on my own I have the ability to pursue other opportunities as well.  I am teaching nursing clinicals for the college I was blessed enough to obtain my first degree from, and on the horizon are two amazing opportunities to expand on this formal teaching position.  The first clinical I did I came straight home and told all of my people...that didn't even feel like work...this is where I am meant to be!
More importantly these doors closing and opening have given me the opportunity to be home.  Home with Landry...home to eat dinner with my family...home to support them in the everyday.  This has been the greatest gift of all.  I see mommas post all the time about how babies don't keep, and there has never been a truer statement.  They are ours for only a short time and we need to cherish every moment we are given.  My greatest accomplishment is being the momma of these two amazing girls God gave me.  All I am and all I do is for them!!