It's been a long time fam...

Tonight I came home from a typical day at work.  Dennie and I decided to go and do happy hour together around Park Circle...we love where we live.  We had some drinks at a Mexican restaurant and then we went and talked to some friends of ours that were out right by where we were for a couple of hours.  It was great.  We talked about everything under the sun and then about nothing at all.  Then I came home and immediately got a message from a former patient's mom on social media.  It was a gut punch.  Not because I didn't want to hear from her...but because it was an instant reminder of my past life.  That I miss...that were some of the best days of my life and in the same breath some of the worst.  I lost one of my most precious patients ever in just a couple of months from now.  I remember because I was on vacation this very week while I was getting messages constantly that my colleagues didn't know if he would make it before I got back.  I remember distinctly praying that he would wait for me.  Selfishly wait for me to get back to be able to be present.  Be present for the hours...minutes...moments before he passed from this existence to the next.  Was that selfish...YES...but unselfishly I had been there...I had been there for the appointments....the difficult conversations...the moments that defined a trajectory...selfishly I wanted to finish our journey together.  And guess what...that is exactly what I got.  Like so many times before he surprised me...he pushed through...instead of July it was January...just like Erik to push it beyond anyone's expectations..."that's what she said" was his favorite saying and that is just what he proved between July to January..."that's what she said," NOPE, "that's what he said."  HE SAID he would do it in his own time...he did just that!  That is why I cried tonight.  I cried because he waited...I cried because I was present....I cried because I see in these present hurried days that presence is few and far between and I.need.to.do.better!  Better for me...better for Erik...better for my future self.  The end.  Here's to the present 💔💗 Thank you Erik for teaching me to be present...in everything 💕💕💕