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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Heroes

Not all heroes wear capes...not all heroes have super powers (well not ones that other people would notice)...not all heroes get things right all the time...and not all super heroes think they are heroes at all.  Most of the time the biggest heroes are the ones who have no idea that they were someone's biggest hero and made an impact that will last a lifetime.

My hero was a man who loved with a passion that was unparalleled.  He loved his sweetheart with every fiber of his being.  He stood up, unashamedly, for what he felt was right even when no one else agreed.  He was a fierce protector of the ones he loved and wasn't afraid of anything...at least not anything I can ever remember.  He was my biggest cheerleader and never hesitated to tell me he loved me.  He taught me all the important things like how to play every card game known to man, how to play boggle, how a man should love a woman in the way he loved my sweet Sally Faye.  
The one thing he taught me that I would have rathered not had to learn is how much you miss someone when they are gone.  Nine years ago today was the last time I heard his voice...it was the last time I kissed his face...the last time he told me he loved me.  I will never forget that day...I really think my heart stopped when that doctor walked into that waiting room and told us that he didn't make it through his heart surgery.  I remember like it was yesterday thinking that it was a nightmare and that I would surely wake up to him sitting at the kitchen table with the breakfast that my grandmother made for him every morning without fail while he sat and did his crossword puzzle.  I would wake up from this nightmare and he would be waiting for me to come over and play cards or watch Friends with him.  I would wake up and we would laugh and talk about all of his crazy adventures.  I would wake up and listen to him tell stories of his wild and crazy days.  I would wake up and hear him tell me what a sweet precious baby I was and how much he loved me from the first day.  This couldn't be our new reality.  How would we ever be able to make a life that didn't include him...didn't include our hero...didn't include his crazy antics...didn't include his adventurous stories...didn't include his unconditional and unparalleled love.  

But unfortunately it wasn't a nightmare...well it was, but it wasn't the kind of nightmare that I was ever going to wake up from.  This nightmare was going to have to somehow become my new normal.  A new normal in which my hero wasn't here to wrap his arms around me when I was hurting...wrap his arms around me when there was reason to celebrate...laugh with me...love my babies with me...recreate my favorite childhood memories with my littles in the exact ways he had created some of the greatest moments with me when I was their age.  I remember how incredibly sad I was...bone crushingly sad...sad for me...sad for my girls...sad for my mom and aunts...but mostly heart wrenching sad for my sweet Sally Faye. I was losing my hero, but she was losing a part of her soul.  

Theirs was a love that knew no bounds.  It was a love that was real and authentic.  They didn't always do everything right, and there were many ups and downs, but in the end all that mattered was that they shared a love that endured a lifetime.  When I look at my sweet Dennie I can only hope that we experience a lifetime of the kind of love that my grandmother and granddaddy shared in their 50 years of marriage.  

My hero...Charles Allen Blaich...was a man's man.  He was a man who loved his family and protected them with a fierce passion.  He never viewed himself as a hero...as a matter of fact he was the first to point out all of his flaws, but he will forever be my hero.  I love and miss him immensely and I know that he is in heaven telling stories and playing cards waiting for us to join him there.  

I love you granddaddy...you will forever be the wind beneath my wings!

Did you ever know you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings!
Charles Allen Blaich
11/1/33--3/22/07

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